Leave Me (In the Dark)
by angellwings
Summary: They were running. They were always running, he and Lucy. From each other, to each other, sometimes together, sometimes at opposite intervals. But always, always running. Today was no different.


**A/N:** Okay, so for starters, THIS FIC IS A BEAST. So, be prepared. This also was not the fic I set out to write. I set out to write a fic to torture Wyatt and ended up with a fic about two tortured star crossed lovers and, you know, I'm okay with it. Forgive any typos. I tried to catch them all but this fic is massive so proof reading was hell. Also, this is rated mature for some smutty sexytimes. Oh, and it's set at some future point where Jessica is gone and Keynes is no longer an obstacle. Not sure when or if that will ever be, but that's the imaginary time I set this in.

Shout out to the girls in the Angst Brigade (Jenna, Yessica, Bex) because these ladies literally kept me going with this and offered advice when I was stuck so BLESS THOSE ANGELS. (Those angsty angsty angels.)

Happy reading! I hope you like it!

angellwings

* * *

 ** _Leave Me (In the Dark)_**

 ** _By Angellwings_**

* * *

" _I don't wanna be a liar._

 _I don't wanna be a fool._

 _I don't wanna be a secret,_

 _But I will if you want me to._

 _You can leave me in the dark,_

 _If that's all I get from you._

 _He can be the sun,_

 _I'll be the moon."_

 _-"I'll Be the Moon" by Dierks Bentley ft. Maren Morris_

* * *

 _i_ _._ _lights up in the dark_

* * *

They were running. They were always running, he and Lucy. From each other, to each other, sometimes together, sometimes at opposite intervals. But always, _always_ running. Today was no different.

They lost Rufus and Flynn in the crowd. Somehow they veered off in pairs. The pairs themselves didn't surprise him. He would always follow Lucy, always be drawn in her direction. But the fact that it had happened at all did. There was a riot about to break out, spurred on by a Rittenhouse agent. The area wasn't safe for Rufus. It wasn't safe for Lucy. He and Flynn had, for once, agreed on something. It was best to stay together. Four eyes keeping watch over Rufus and Lucy was a better solution than one on one.

But then the crowd surged forward and drew Lucy away like the pull of an ocean current. He had to go after her. There wasn't any other option.

Now, their feet pounded against a packed dirt road covered in hay and their hearts raced as they skidded around corners and dodged bullets. Wyatt kept Lucy in front of him and in his sight at all times. They may have taken care of Keynes but Emma was still out there. Rittenhouse still wanted her dead. It was a fear that lurked in the back of his mind on every mission now. He never wanted to be overbearing, not with Lucy, but the temptation to stash her someplace and only seek her out for a history lecture or to be pointed in the right direction was strong. Everything screamed to keep her safe but he knew what Lucy would say. He knew her. She would huff and tell him that if he was risking his life then she had no right to do anything less. He could see the indignant glare that would be on her face and rigid cross of her arms over her chest. She would stare him down until he conceded her point. She had a right to decide what she risked and what she didn't.

Like her heart for instance.

No, no. Now is not the time. Work now, heart later.

He shook away the image of his hypothetical argument with Lucy, even though he was actually enjoying imagining her defiant face as she heatedly told him where to go for even suggesting it. Her cheeks flushing and looking breathtakingly beautiful, even when pissed at him. Her lips pursed firmly and yet still looking extremely kissable…

 _Work now, heart later_.

He repeated it to himself as his errant thoughts threatened to distract him from their escape.

Running, sleeper, gun, danger.

Focus, Logan.

He heard rushing footfalls in front of them and he realized he hadn't heard a shot rip by them in a few minutes. They weren't being chased any more. They were being cut off at the pass. _Shit._ This is why he needed to _focus_. His hand grabbed Lucy under her arm and pulled her as gently as he could into the nearest alley. It was a dead end but that didn't matter. There was an old carriage parked at the end of it. He led her to the other side of it and pressed her against the wall. The carriage should have blocked them from view but just in case he leaned over her to shield her body with his own, his arm resting on the brick wall above her head and his other hand pressed to the wall next to her waist. He kept his face pointed toward the street, listening for steps and shouts or gunshots. He held his breath as the footfalls he heard earlier slowed, briefly. There was a pause in the movement beyond the alley and then he heard the same heavy footfalls hurrying in the opposite direction.

He breathed a sigh of relief and turned his attention to Lucy. He nearly recoiled when he realized how close her face was to his. Her eyes were the only thing that held him place. She was searching his face for something. There was a question in her eyes that he couldn't quite make out, but he stared back at her anyway, letting her look.

"Wyatt," she whispered as the backs of her fingers caressed his cheek. "I have an answer."

He gulped and felt his pulse quicken. Now? She wanted to answer him _now_? She couldn't have answered him back at the bunker before they climbed into the Lifeboat? Or maybe held off to answer him until they got back? She had to answer him in the middle of a dirty alley while they hid behind a busted up carriage?

She couldn't have answered him immediately after he'd brushed kisses all along her jaw and neck and through the valley between her breast or immediately after his callused hands softly ran up and down the length of her bare legs? Maybe she could have answered him as her nails pressed into his naked back or she had her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. Or possibly while he'd whispered "Luce" reverently against nearly every inch of her smooth ivory skin.

Any of those times would have been good.

He would have been prepared for an answer then.

He came to her with baited breath and his heart in his hands as he begged her for forgiveness and another chance. He fucked it up, he told her. He knew he fucked it up. He hoped he had done enough in the last two months to earn back some her trust and if he hadn't then could she just tell him what to do? What did she need? He would do whatever it took, anything she asked. She just needed to tell him. What did she want and did she think she could ever love him the way he loved her?

She didn't really answer him, just kissed him. Kissed him hard and long and deep. A volatile heady explosion of want and need and desire followed with lips and hands finding themselves everywhere at once. Teeth nipped, tongues tasted, hands felt. She placed a chair in front of her door before they fell back onto the tiny cot in a tangle of limbs.

Clothes were discarded on to the floor, with no concern to how dirty that floor might be, and what followed was a deliberate though less glamorous recreation of Hedy's guest house. There was no golden fire except for the one between the two of them, but he was most certainly okay with that.

Later, when they were spent, he asked her again.

"Do you think you could ever love me?"

She bit her bottom lip and gave him a skittish glance. "Can I-can I think about it?"

The request hurt, but she didn't mean for it to. Wasn't it all his own fault anyway? "Of course you can," he told her as he brought his lips to the shell of her ear in a whisper. "Take all the time you need, _Luce_."

The shiver that went up her spine at the feeling of his whisper on her ear gave him hope.

But a full day had passed and as of the jump earlier that morning she was still thinking. He didn't mind, he could wait.

And he, honestly, wouldn't mind waiting a bit longer because he wasn't sure he was ready to hear her answer right now, while they were still technically being hunted by an operative from a secret evil cult.

"I have an answer," she repeated, her voice just a touch louder this time.

He took a deep shaky breath and swallowed thickly. "You do?"

"I do," she answered. She placed a trembling hand on either side of his face and brought his forehead to hers. "I _could_ , Wyatt. I could and I do love you."

His breath caught and he froze. If he touched her now he'd press her against the wall with his body and not his hands. They'd be fused together against the brick with his hands buried in her hair and his mouth hot against hers. They didn't really have time for that now.

"Work, first. Heart, later."

"What?"

 _Shit_. "Did I say that outloud?"

She chuckled and then, "Yeah, you did."

He gave her a sheepish smile. "Sorry." He nudged her nose with his and brought his lips as close to hers as he could without touching them. "God, I want to kiss you so badly right now," Wyatt told her.

She smirked at him with a teasing light in her eyes that only increased the urge to close the distance between her lips and his. "I get it, Wyatt. Work, first. Heart, later," she said with a soft laugh.

"I know I've told you this already," Wyatt said as he met her eyes and spoke earnestly. "But I love you. I love you like I've never loved anyone. I love you like I will never love anyone else ever again. You and me, we're it. Okay?"

She nodded and ghosted her lips over his without actually kissing him.

It was frustrating as hell. He loved it.

"Okay," she whispered against his lips.

Yeah, they needed to finish this mission and get home as soon as possible. He needed to be alone in a room with her for however long it took to kiss her senseless.

* * *

 _ii_. _asks where you are_

* * *

The bunker was empty. That's how they knew something was very wrong. It looked like no one had touched the place in at least sixty years. Too shocked to say anything at first they all climbed down, Wyatt's hand lingered a little too long on Lucy's waist, and stared at the empty space that surrounded them. There was sadness to it, like they lost something they didn't know they wanted.

Yeah, it was a hellhole, but it was their hellhole.

They were all so caught up in the blank spaces and the implications of them that they nearly forgot their next steps. It's Flynn of all people who remembered the new protocol.

 _The phone_. They kept one phone in the Lifeboat at all times now. It stayed there and never left, waiting for a situation like this. Rufus swiped past the group photo of their entire seven person team standing in front of the Lifeboat and called Agent Christopher.

The phone call was so short and vague that the only thing they managed to glean from it came from Rufus's face. There was a permanent grimace that remained on his face even after the call ended.

"She pissed?" Wyatt asked knowingly.

"To say the least. She thinks we stole it," Rufus told him as he pointed his thumb back at Lifeboat. "Again," he added. "Her words."

"So, does that mean you two still went back to the eighties or that we all still stole it before going to track down Al Capone?" Lucy asked. "Or both?"

"I don't know," Rufus said with a head shake. "But she was adamant about staying _here_ and waiting on her. She did tell me to keep an eye on Flynn, though, so he's still working with us."

"Oh goody," Flynn said in droll tone. "Of all the things that could have changed _that_ stayed the same. Of course."

"Did we do this?" Lucy asked with a furrowed brow. "Or did Rittenhouse? Emma wasn't there in the past. The Mothership could have gone anywhere and made any change."

"We don't even know what _this_ is yet," Wyatt told her with an encouraging glance. "It could be nothing. Just a change of location. One thing at a time, yeah?"

Both Rufus and Lucy chorused affirmative responses while Flynn scoffed.

"Yes, because historically changes to the timeline have affected the four of us in miniscule ways," he said sarcastically.

The thought came to Wyatt then that Flynn might already know what occured while they were gone. He released his supportive hold on Lucy's waist to cross the distance to the former time terrorist and glared suspiciously at him.

"What do you know?" Wyatt asked. "Was there something in the journal about this too?"

Flynn held a hand up in a gesture of innocence. "I know as much as you do. Like I told you, she didn't write down everything. She was, at times, purposefully vague."

Hearing Flynn talk about an unknown future Lucy when the real Lucy - _Wyatt's Lucy_ \- was right there felt surreal and insane and left Wyatt to question _how_ this had become his life.

Lucy huffed and rolled her eyes. "Note to self, when writing a journal to pass down to someone in the past: details are important."

Wyatt and Rufus chuckled at her, despite the situation.

A half hour later the door to the bunker burst open and Agent Christopher charged into the room with Jiya, Mason, and a squad of agents in tow. Rufus rushed to Jiya, needing to check that their history was at least in tact. It was. Jiya and Rufus were still dating, Jiya still had visions, she and Rufus still argued about them.

"How the hell did you four wind up here?" Denise asked with a furrowed brow.

"In our timeline this is where we started," Rufus told her. "Where did we start from in yours?"

"The same place you always start from," Mason said as he glanced around the bunker with disdain. "My hangar. Mason Industries."

"So, in this timeline there was no explosion at Mason?" Wyatt asked with raised brows. Well, that was good news, at least.

"Explosion? From what?" Agent Christopher asked.

"Rittenhouse," Lucy answered. "They took me and blew up Mason to try and take out the Lifeboat - and my friends. Then stole the Mothership."

"They definitely stole the Mothership," Jiya told her. "But none of the rest of that stuff ever happened."

"See?" Wyatt told Lucy and Rufus with a smirk. "Change of location. Nothing major."

Lucy shook her head. "But that doesn't make any sense. Why would that change? Rittenhouse wouldn't make that change and nothing we did in the past could have affected that. That can't be it."

"Let's talk about this somewhere else, shall we?" Agent Christopher asked. "We need to debrief back at Mason. Jiya and Mr. Mason will make sure the Lifeboat gets home safely."

Agent Christopher nodded to two of her agents who then immediately cuffed Flynn.

Flynn sighed tiredly and shook his head. "Really, Agent, where am I going to go, hm?"

"I don't know but I'm sure as hell not taking any chances with you," Denise told him as she turned and headed for the exit.

They followed her out and into the sunlight. Leaving the bunker felt inherently wrong. At this point the safety of the bunker was ingrained in them. They shielded their eyes against the midday sun as if they were emerging from years trapped in the darkness. It felt dangerous. It felt, to Wyatt, like a trap. Though, he couldn't explain why.

* * *

 _iii. start driving_

* * *

As they loaded into a large black SUV, Lucy couldn't help but feel tense. Something about this wasn't right. The pieces didn't fit yet. She had so many more questions but Agent Christopher didn't want to answer them here. She wanted the privacy and safety of Mason Industries. _Mason Industries_. Living a semi-normal life where the fear of Rittenhouse didn't keep her holed up in a damp, dark bunker was appealing and terrifying. Did she know how to do that anymore? And where did she live? Surely not with her mother? Not after that shocking reveal. But then...did that even happen in this timeline? She wasn't sure. So maybe she did live with her mother. Did this other Lucy not know her mother was Rittenhouse? How was Lucy supposed to go home to that house now? Or was Carol Preston still Rittenhouse at all? Was that what changed? A small thrill at the thought of having her mother back ran up her spine and a ghost of a smile fell across her lips. She didn't want to get her hopes up, but maybe…

"You okay?" Wyatt asked as his hand reached for hers. He threaded their fingers together and met her eyes with deep blue concern.

"Yeah," she admitted with a hesitant smile. "Maybe you're right. Maybe the changes were good changes?"

"You know," Wyatt said with a smirk. "There are a lot of things I should be thinking right now. Deep, meaningful things. But you know what I'm actually thinking?"

The halfmoon dimple on his cheek was too tempting to not lean toward, leaving very little space between them. "What?"

"Not being confined to the bunker means I can actually take you out," he said with an easy smile. "On an _actual_ date."

Lucy laughed lightly. "You're right, there are a lot of other things you _should_ be thinking about."

Lucy noticed Agent Christopher watching them closely from the front passenger seat. She didn't look please with either of them and Lucy wasn't sure why. Was it because they were teammates? The whole bunker knew about her feelings for Wyatt during the Jessica fiasco and Christopher didn't seem to mind then. In fact, she seemed... _sympathetic_. So why did she look so offended now? Lucy turned away from Wyatt to ask, but the question never left her lips. Their SUV came to a sudden screeching halt as shots sounded a head of them.

The glass in the windshield cracked in front of the driver and he suddenly slumped forward on to the wheel. That's when Lucy noticed the perfectly round hole at the center of the crack. Wyatt grabbed her suddenly and forced her down into the floor of the vehicle. He motioned for Rufus to join her.

"Stay _here_ ," Wyatt ordered as he kicked open his door and climbed out of the vehicle with his gun already drawn. Agent Christopher followed with her weapon at the ready as well. Both looked all business. Battle hardened and ready for danger.

Rufus grabbed her hand and held it tight. "What the hell is going on?"

"I don't know," Lucy said as she tried to listen to the chaos beyond the vehicle. Shouting, tires screeching, rapid gunfire. The door to her right was suddenly yanked open. She looked up, expecting Wyatt, and found a familiar freckled scowl grinning maliciously at her.

"There you are, princess. Let's get you home, huh? I know some people who are anxious to meet the real you."

Emma reached for her wrist but as anger and resentment filled Lucy she realized cowering in the floor of the SUV would do her no good. Emma thought she would drag Lucy from the car kicking and screaming. She never expect Lucy to lunge for her. Lucy sprung forward with an enraged shout and tackled Emma to the ground. Emma's gun left her hand and fell several feet away and Lucy frantically reached for it. The redhead kicked Lucy with excessive force, sending her careening into the side of the SUV with a painful impact.

Somewhere in the distance she heard a familiar gruff voice shout her name. _Wyatt_.

Her head hit the glass and metal on the side of the vehicle and Lucy saw spots. In the time it took Lucy to recover from the hit, Emma had found her gun and pointed it at the center of Lucy's forehead.

"This wasn't the plan," Emma said with a smirk. "But improv is always fun, right?"

Oh god, she was going to die. The target that had been on her back for months felt as if it were now painted in angry red on her forehead for everyone to see. Emma finally had her cornered. She heard Rufus shouting from inside the open door but beyond that Lucy heard nothing. The world fell away in a blur and time stopped. Flashes of Amy, of her mother, of her real father, of Rufus, of Jiya, _of Wyatt_ flew across her mind as she looked down the literal barrel of a gun. So much for that journal she was supposed to write. That would never happen now.

Just as she was about to close her eyes and wait for death, she felt a sudden hot spattering of _something_ across her face and saw Emma's eyes unfocus. They turned dark and cold as her body collapsed to the ground, gun falling from her hand.

That's when Lucy realized the hot spattering she felt across her face was Emma's blood. Emma was dead. Lucy let out a pained sob and collapsed back against the vehicle. She was covered in someone else's blood. A wave of nausea hit her hard and fast as she closed her eyes and bent at the waist. _Head between your legs_ , was her only thought.

A split second later she found panicked blue eyes boring into hers as Wyatt knelt in front of her.

"Luce," he whispered. The shortened version of her name that she knew he reserved only for the two of them, for their private moments, caught her attention and snapped the world back into focus. "Are you hurt? You hit your head. Are you alright?"

She straightened and he followed her so that he was standing impossibly close to her, nearly pinning her to the side of the SUV with his body. His muscles were tensed in worry and his eyes were lit with a familiar protective fire that she loved so much. She felt the rough texture of his hands gently running over the curves of her face and her neck and then skimming the service of her head. He was checking her for injuries, she realized. He wouldn't find anything other than a probable knot on the back of her head and a handful of scrapes. She was fine.

Just terrified.

"You-you killed Emma," she stated in a trembling voice.

"Took me long enough," he said with a growl. "Are you okay?"

She nodded mutely and gulped back the bile building in her throat. She was still covered in Emma's blood. While she gathered her wits Wyatt leaned into the open door to check on Rufus. Rufus was fine, their driver was dead, Agent Christopher was checking on Flynn's vehicle.

Once that intel was out in the open Wyatt turned his focus back to her. She didn't know it, but tears were quietly streaming down her face. She didn't notice until Wyatt pointed it out.

"Luce," he whispered again as he brought one hand up and wiped at the wetness on her cheeks. "You're okay, we're all okay."

"I have blood on me that isn't mine. No, Wyatt, I'm not _okay_ ," Lucy told him as her panic broke it's way to the surface. It was hard to breathe. She felt like her chest was being crushed under an anvil. The image of Emma's eyes going dead in front of her replayed over and over. Emma was a bitch, sure, but Lucy had never planned to watch her die. Not up close and personal anyway.

She saw tears form in Wyatt's eyes and a flash of deep sorrow before he pulled her against him. His arms wrapped her in a tight cocoon of safety as he peppered the side of her face with small kisses. She returned the embrace and sagged against him, finally allowing herself to sob as he began to murmur reassurances in her ear.

" _I'm so sorry. God, Lucy, if I could run away with you right now I would. You never deserved any of this. But you're so strong, so resilient, so brave. You're going to be okay. We're all going to be okay. I promise."_

The uneven quality of his tone was a result of emotions so strong that he physically couldn't hide them. His voice was hoarse and desperate and quiet. His warring emotions somehow calmed hers and she clung to him as if he were her only lifeline.

" _We'll make it through this, together. Like we always do."_

God, she loved him. She loved him more than should be humanly possible.

* * *

 _iv. meet me_

* * *

They arrived back at Mason looking completely out of place. They walked from their fresh undamaged towncar to the hangar door in Victorian attire that was bloodied and ripped with harried nervous faces. Wyatt only relaxed once they stepped inside of building. One quick look around and Lucy's breath caught in her throat.

It was like nothing had changed. Like a window into the past.

The hangar was bustling with various Mason Industries and Homeland Security employees. There were actual conference rooms and a multitude of screens and everything was shiny and new and sleek.

Rufus's brow furrowed and he leaned toward Wyatt and Lucy with a disconcerted expression. "I miss the rust. There should be rust somewhere."

He was right. There should be. This felt too sterile. Too clean. Too perfect. Their homebase should look as worn down as the three of them felt.

"Debrief first," Christopher said. "Then you can shower and change."

She always held that shower and change bit over their heads, like a reward for a job well done. She had them well trained too because they rarely questioned it. Even amidst a timeline shift. They gave her all the details of the mission. Wyatt and Lucy silently agreed to leave out their moment in the alley. That didn't have any bearing on the job. Denise didn't need to know. Denise seemed concerned about the timeline shift and asked them numerous questions about life in the bunker and how they ended up there. During the course of that conversation it came out that Jessica had still been revived by Rittenhouse and Agent Christopher had still placed her Witness Protection after she and Wyatt divorced. Rufus found out his family thought he was very much alive. In fact, Denise was almost certain his brother had a basketball game that night and Rufus could make it if he hurried. They discussed Flynn and discovered the story of how he joined the team hadn't changed. They broke him out and let the Iranians take the credit.

"What about Keynes?" Lucy asked.

"Who?" Denise asked her with a furrowed brow.

Wyatt, Rufus, and Lucy all shared a knowing look. "Nevermind," Lucy said with a shrug. "He was part of Rittenhouse in our timeline. We took him out."

"Have we ever been to the first World War in this timeline?" Wyatt asked her.

"No, not yet. You've been close to it, but never in the middle of it," She answered. "Okay, I think we're done here." Then she looked as if she remembered something suddenly and pointed at Lucy. "Oh, and _please_ tell your husband to stop calling the hangar. I cannot be fielding his calls all day. I allowed you to include him in this because of your assignment, Lucy, but his constant badgering is excessive."

Lucy went rigid and felt everything in her freeze. "M-my- _my what_?"

Lucy noticed Wyatt's hands clenched into fists around the arms of his chair before she turned her wide eyes toward both him and Rufus and then back to Agent Christopher.

Realization dawned in Denise's eyes and her hard professional glance softened considerably.

"Oh, _Oh Lucy_. You weren't-you weren't married in your timeline, were you?"

"I...was engaged once. Sort of. I didn't know him but I came back from a jump and there he was. I ended it, eventually," she said as she swallowed thickly and rambled nervously. "But that was a while ago. I haven't seen him since. I couldn't have- _why would I_? I didn't know him, certainly didn't love him."

It couldn't be true. _It couldn't_.

"If it's any comfort, you don't love him in this timeline either," Denise offered.

No. No, that wasn't comfort. Or was it? She glanced over at Wyatt apprehensively. Maybe it was.

"I think that makes it worse," Lucy told her. "I don't understand…"

"Noah Carpenter is part of Rittenhouse. He's being groomed for leadership as far as you know. Or as far as the old you knew. You married him six months before we brought you in to chase Flynn across time. You didn't know he was Rittenhouse at the time. We discovered that much later. Once you knew, you agreed to spy on him for us," Denise told her in a slow and gentle voice. "You've been using him to gather intel on Rittenhouse for nearly a year. After your mother revealed herself to be Rittenhouse that gave you even more of a foothold. He and your mother think you're spying on _us_ for them."

Lucy couldn't seem to process any of Denise's words. She heard them. She understood them. But the reality of what they meant just wouldn't sink in. Her brain seemed to shut itself off after "Noah Carpenter is part of Rittenhouse." Hell, that was the first time she'd even heard his last name! Was there anyone in her life before Mason that hadn't been Rittenhouse at this point? No, it was all too cruel to be true. Too awful. Too frightening.

Her ears were ringing and her breathing was becoming erratic. Panic was eminent. She could feel it rising.

In the midst of her spinning emotions she heard Rufus utter a faint, startled, "Shit" as he stared between her and Wyatt.

 _Wyatt._ He'd been unusually quiet this entire time. She dared a glance at him and found him quietly seething. His jaw was tense and his eyes glared at the wall across the room from him. His eyes were open but unseeing.

"I know, now is not the time," Rufus said sympathetically as he cleared his throat and met Lucy's tearful gaze. "But you two have got to have the _shittiest_ timing in the universe."

That was the biggest understatement in all of space-time.

"Are you telling us that Lucy is in a sham marriage to that dick for the sake of being a double agent?" Wyatt asked in a sneer. His face was red with anger and he looked ready to tear the conference room apart.

Denise sighed and rubbed her temples. She looked fatigued and in no mood to deal with Wyatt. "Master Sergeant, the amount of times I have gone over this with the other you are numerous and exhausting. I have a migraine already knowing that we're going to have this fight all over again. I presented Lucy with her options. This was the option _she_ chose. I advised her of the risks, _you_ advised her of the risks, even _Rufus_ advised her of the risks. She would not be deterred."

"No, _no_ , it's too dangerous," Wyatt all but spat at her. "In a situation like that there's not even an opportunity for back up. Anything could happen to her and if they find out the truth-in our timeline we lost her for six weeks to those Rittenhouse bastards. I won't do that again. _I won't_. I won't let _her_ be put through that again. The things that they did to her- _goddamn it._ "

Wyatt stood from his chair with such force that it toppled over. He kicked it aside and began to pace like a caged animal.

Lucy closed her eyes and tried to tune him out. He was muttering violently and stomping back and forth. His tension thundered through her body, flowing from him to her in an instant. She leaned forward in her chair and dropped her head in her hands. She couldn't think for all the hostility that suddenly entered the room. She needed to think.

"Wyatt," Lucy finally said with an apologetic wince. "I need to talk to Agent Christopher alone."

His pacing stopped and he swiftly whirled her chair around to face him. He rested his hands on the arms and leaned into her space. Desperate, pleading eyes, rimmed red. As raw as she had ever seen them. They made her want to crumble and weep.

"Lucy, you don't have to do this," he told her with a pained rasp in his voice. "You don't. The old timeline you did but you are not her. _I know_. I know that better than anyone. You don't have to put yourself through this. You shouldn't have to go home to man you don't love or won't love _you_ the way you deserve. You are not required to go through with alternate Lucy's assignment no matter what anyone may tell you. You can say no. _Please say no_."

She reached a trembling hand up to trace the line of his jaw. His stubble bristled against her fingers and she let herself take in every emotion in his eyes because all of it was for her. Concern, fear, anger, and a misery so deep that the bottom of it couldn't be found in his beautiful blue eyes. His eyes always told her what his words couldn't and that fact was truer than ever in this moment.

"I can't lose you one more time. I've nearly lost you so many times and in so many decades. I can't-I can't lose you again," he said as he let a silent tear trail down his cheek.

"You won't, Wyatt," she promised. "You can't. Not ever." She cupped his cheek and then ran her other hand through his hair. "I love you. This doesn't change that."

He shook his head against her hand and closed his eyes, his brow wrinkled as if he were in pain. "I know it won't, but it won't be easy, Lucy. None of this will be easy. You'll be his _wife_. You'll have a life with him, responsibilities. There wouldn't be a moment to breathe, a moment to be _you_. You'll always have to be...to be…"

"Mrs. Lucy Carpenter," she finished for him.

He grimaced but didn't open his eyes. "If they catch you in a lie we don't know what they'll do. I won't be able to be with you, to protect you. I don't know what I would do if-"

"Don't. Don't go there," she told him before she placed a chaste but lingering kiss to his lips. She pressed her forehead to his. "I need to talk to Agent Christopher. Please. I need to know what's been done so far and I need to know how this would all work in order to make a decision. If this could really help us bring down Rittenhouse for good then I need to consider it. _I have to consider it_. I'll find you after, okay? Just please let me have a moment to talk it over."

He took a deep breath and turned his head to place a kiss on the palm of her hand before he nodded slowly. His eyes finally opened and while they still looked tortured, the pain she found in them looked less severe. She was grateful for that, at least.

When they parted they found Rufus politely averting his gaze while Agent Christopher staring at them with raised eyebrows and a knowing smirk. Wyatt rolled his eyes at the agent and left with slow trudging steps. Rufus followed with a nod at Lucy and an encouraging smile. He closed the door behind him.

"I always thought there was something between you two in my timeline. I guess I was right," Denise told her once the door was closed. "Though I wish I wasn't. Wyatt is right. This won't be easy. It was difficult enough for the other you and she had been doing this for a year already. You're starting from scratch."

Lucy sighed and rubbed a hand over her face. Time to toughen up and get to work. Before she said yes or no, she needed to understand the value of this particular mission. "Please tell me you debriefed her about Noah as rigorously as you debrief us about our missions and you have the mission reports?"

Denise nodded. "Of course. In my office."

"Before I decide, can I review them? I want to know what I'm jumping into before I actually jump," Lucy asked as she started to compartmentalize her feelings for Wyatt. She needed to tuck them away for now. She'd come back to how he factored in later but in this moment she needed to assess the job. And only the job.

"Okay, Lucy Preston," Denise said as she stood from her chair. "I guess it's time for you to meet Dr. and Mrs. Noah Carpenter."

 _Dr. and Mrs._

The bile she felt earlier at the feeling of Emma's blood on her face returned. Would her timeline ever be unchanged again? Was this her life now? Rolling with whatever punches time travel threw at her?

Would she never have another moment to enjoy the good things in her life? Good things like a pair of expressive blue eyes focused completely on her, like his calloused hands running along the curve of her naked back, or like the way the world narrowed to the two of them every time he called her "Luce". Would there ever be another moment to languidly lay in his arms, tracing her fingers over his skin and feeling the proof of his existence under her hands, as she had in 1941?

Would their timing always be awful?

* * *

 _v. i'm in_

* * *

She agreed? She actually agreed to this insane unending assignment? She agreed to be trapped in a marriage with a man she didn't know. She was being selfless again. Doing what was best for everyone else instead of herself. That's what was going to make life with Lucy Preston maddening, wasn't it? Her need to see other people happy was going to result in a lot of bickering between the two of them. He could see it now. She would hide the way she felt and he would call her out and her response would be that she thought it was what he wanted. Seeing her unhappy at his expense would _never_ be what he wanted.

But this wasn't anything he could fight her on because it wasn't for him. It was for all of them. For history. For the world.

But it was a hundred times more dangerous than stepping into that Lifeboat. This assignment was hers and hers alone. He couldn't go through it with her - a fact that would likely break him slowly.

She was currently trying to explain herself in the very lounge where they first met. Her weight shifted from one foot to the other and her hands rung around her locket. She refused to look him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry, Wyatt, I would understand if you wanted to bow out of-of well whatever we are. Or even if you never wanted to speak to me again. I know you didn't want me to do this and I understand why. I know how great the risk is, but the potential reward is great too. We can't just ignore that. This could be how we finally stamp out Rittenhouse for good. And once we do that, once they're gone, we'll all finally be free. Our lives will be our own again. Isn't that the most important thing? To get our freedom back? Anyway I-I just-I love you and it may not seem like it right now, but that's _why_ I'm doing this. As long as Rittenhouse is lurking over us our timing will always be off. They'll make sure of it. No matter how we fight it. We won't be able to move forward, you know? We can't have a future if we're always saving the past."

His pain stopped for a moment as he took in those last words. Hold on. Did that-did that mean what he thought it did? Even in the midst of losing her to this ridiculous undercover assignment, he found something to send a thrill up his spine.

"You're doing this...for our future? Yours and mine?" He asked as he resisted the smile that threatened to tug at his lips. She thought about a future with him?

"I want another day to come where I can wake up in bed with your arms around me and _only_ think about that. Where we can just _be_ without worrying about sleeper agents or time machines or secret cults that want to kill us. I want to be able to focus on you and me. After everything we've been through we deserve that, don't you think?"

She still refused to look at him. She couldn't see the affection and love and pride that he knew was on his face. He wanted her to see it. He needed her to see it. He stepped directly into her space, the toes of his modern day shoes touching her Victorian era boots, and placed hand under her chin. He lifted her eyes to his and then pushed her wild hair behind her ears. He let her eyes read his, knowing they would see everything she made him feel. They could always communicate whole conversations with a glance. It was a gift they somehow possessed.

"I follow where you lead, ma'am," Wyatt said in a gravelly voice thick with emotion. "If you think this path leads us to that bed you talked about then I'm in. I want that for us too. I want _you_. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you."

"Really?" She asked with a wide relieved smile.

"You do what you need to do, Professor," Wyatt told her with a resigned sigh. "I'll be right here for whatever you need. I can wait for the day where I finally have you all to myself."

She bit her bottom lip and gave him a heated glance. "You have me all to yourself now, don't you?"

His weary expression gave way to a slow smirk as he realized they actually were alone in this lounge, but the door didn't have a lock and she still needed to clean up from their jump. It was tempting, especially considering in a short time she would be leaving here and headed to a house she shared with a man who didn't know her like he did. Who didn't love her the _way_ he could.

His shoulders sagged and the grin faded. "You, um, you still need to get changed."

She looked defeated for a moment too before her eyes lit up and a grin formed on her face. "You know, the back of this dress has a _lot_ of buttons. I am definitely going to need some help getting it off. You up for the task, Soldier?"

He laughed and placed a hand on either side of her face, caressing her cheeks with his thumbs. "Sure thing, ma'am."

They walked briskly through the hallways of Mason and took the still familiar path to the wardrobe, bathrooms, and lockers that they knew were close by. They hadn't been in this building in so long and yet it was all still burned in their memories. Lucy grabbed her modern day clothes and her bag of toiletries from her locker, first. They were both grinning like idiots in anticipation the closer they came to the bathroom.

The bathrooms at Mason had a lock but it felt odd not sliding a chair into place behind them. Echoes of life at the bunker would probably haunt them for a long time to come. There was a moment of sentimental sadness that passed between them before Lucy turned and presented the buttons on her dress to him. His calloused fingers were clumsy and the tension between them didn't help. But together they shed Lucy of every cumbersome layer of clothing.

She helped him remove his too. It was only fair.

The world beyond the bathroom door didn't exist for the next few moments. The next time they were alone it would be heavy with the weight of Lucy's assignment. Right now, before she become submerged in that world, they could still enjoy nothing but each other. So, under the spray of the shower, Wyatt gave Lucy the undivided attention she wouldn't get from Noah. He tuned himself to her every breath, every moan, every whimper, every shiver. He commited the taste of her to memory just in case he ended up deprived of it and pressed his hard body to her softer one in ways that he hoped would leave a permanent indentation. If he had to leave her then he was going to leave her with something to remember in dark of the night. Something that belonged to only them.

When they were done he watched her put on her modern day clothes, enjoying the casual way she dressed in front of him. He knew every part of her so there was nothing she wouldn't let him see. It wasn't until after she was dressed that she turned away from him and when she turned back around he knew why.

She put on the rings. The eerily familiar engagement ring that neither one of them ever thought they'd see again and the platinum band that matched. Their moment of afterglow was over and it was time to face their new reality. When he finished dressing she approached him and ran her hand through his hair, he noticed she was careful to leave her left hand at her side. Not daring to touch him with it. He was glad for that. The sight of those rings broke his heart and enraged him all at once and that wasn't what he wanted to remember in this moment.

She kissed him at an excruciatingly slow pace. It felt as though she put every ounce of longing and love a person could feel into it and he gladly reciprocated. He never wanted her to question just how deeply she was ingrained in him now. He tasted tears and realized they were both crying, tears meeting their joined lips and mingling with the taste of each other. A second later she ripped her mouth from his and the pop of the broken kiss echoed in the tile covered room.

He watched in silence as she wiped her cheeks, took a deep breath, and walked away. Away from him, but toward unknown danger.

And this time, he couldn't go with her.

* * *

 _vi. can't take your eyes off me_

* * *

A week. They hadn't talked in a week. The Mothership hadn't jumped since they arrived in this new timeline. Probably because he killed their pilot, but he heard from Agent Christopher that Lucy had gotten a small piece of intel that indicated Rittenhouse had a new pilot that Emma had trained herself, as a contingency plan. They were probably letting the new pilot adjust to the idea. They would be jumping all over time again very soon.

But in the meantime they hadn't been called in. Which left Wyatt nothing but time to worry about Lucy and explore his new apartment. It wasn't the same apartment he had before. It was newer for starters. Bigger kitchen, more bedrooms. Like someone actually planned to have a life here. Had he moved here when Jess came back? Was that why he thought he needed a bigger place?

That led him to questions about Jessica too. Had they split for the same reasons? Had it been because they realized they literally weren't the same people to each other anymore and all they had between them was a few years of common memories? Had it been because this timeline's Wyatt realized a life without Lucy just wasn't an option? Had Lucy been a factor at all? This timeline's Lucy was married, though not happily married according to Agent Christopher.

He couldn't imagine any version of Lucy straying from a spouse, though, even if she wanted to. But at some point that unhappily married Lucy would fulfill her mission and be free of Dr. Douchebag, wouldn't she? Had the other timeline version of himself been holding out for that day?

He imagined Jess coming back to that version of himself and Lucy. He imagined Lucy telling him to be happy with his wife because at least one of them deserved to be happily married. He imagined her letting him go because she was trapped with a man she didn't love and had no idea when she would be free. She was so selfless that she wouldn't want him to wait for her if Jessica was a realistic option again. He imagined a lot of things until he reached the point where he weaved himself a very detail tale of woe and heartbreak.

Maybe the other timeline version of him hadn't gotten this place for Jessica. Maybe he got it for Lucy. He would like to think that the other timeline version of himself would have as much faith in Lucy as he did.

It was at that moment, while he stared at the walk in closet he surely didn't need, that his cell phone rang. He nearly let out a celebratory whoop at the site of the Mason Industries number on his caller ID. Work no longer meant danger and less enlightened times. Not anymore. No, work meant _Lucy_. Work meant he got to see her, touch her, talk to her. _Breathe her in_.

He reached Mason at the same time she did. They approached each other in the parking deck. She had keys to a Mercedes in her hand. Another change for this timeline. Lucy wouldn't have been able to afford to test drive a Mercedes in their timeline, let alone own one. The idea that Noah could potentially provide her a higher quality of life then he ever could struck him in some weak part of his ego. Jealousy flared for a moment until Lucy's eyes landed on his and brightened immediately.

Yeah, so Noah could buy her an expensive car, but could he put _that_ look in Lucy's brown eyes? Wyatt knew he couldn't. That look was reserved only for _Wyatt_. They didn't embrace, didn't touch. They couldn't. The only people at Mason that knew Lucy's marriage wasn't real were Lucy, himself, Rufus, Flynn, and Agent Christopher. Not even Jiya or Mason were allowed to know.

"You just wait till that Lifeboat hatch closes behind us," Wyatt told her with a smirk as they walked through the door side by side.

"Yeah?" She asked with a grin. "What happens then?"

"Our audience of watchful eyes shrinks considerably," Wyatt answered with wink. "And after that well...all bets are off."

She laughed loudly and he loved the way it crinkled the corners of her eyes. "Oh, I'm sure Rufus and Flynn will love that."

"Screw 'em," he told her with a teasing grin. "We gotta do what we gotta do."

She thought he was kidding. He knew she did. Because a few minutes later, when they were dressed in period costumes and the Lifeboat hatch sealed them off from the rest of Mason, she was completely shocked when he leaned across the time machine and placed a searing kiss to her lips.

She blinked at him in a flushed daze as he buckled her seat belts for her. He hadn't had to in a while, but she wasn't moving and he didn't mind. Her eyes followed him as he returned to his seat and buckled himself in and when he looked back over at her, he found her beaming brightly.

"How's that 'work, first. heart, later.' philosophy working out for you, Logan?" She asked him cheekily.

"You're never gonna let me live that down, are you?" He asked with an embarrassed wince.

"Not for as long as we live," she answered as her warm chocolate eyes met his deep blue ones.

"You guys mind?" Rufus asked with a teasing quirk of his brow. "Some of us are trying to work here."

"And some of us just find you naseauting," Flynn quipped.

During the mission Wyatt could pretend everything was normal. Lucy wasn't a double agent, she wasn't married to that asshat Noah, and he could be as affectionate with her as he wanted. He almost didn't want to go back. What was there in the present for them anyway? Forced separation and life threatening assignments? But the mission came to an end because, despite everything, they were still good at their jobs and much sooner than he liked they were buckling up to go home.

They debriefed and then headed for the lockers. As soon as Flynn and Rufus had come and gone, Wyatt was across the room in front of Lucy's locker. Mission grime and costumes be damned he kissed her right then and there. She reacted immediately, arms wrapped tightly around his neck, body flush against his.

"I miss you," she told him between kisses.

"You too," Wyatt said as he moved his kisses from her lips to her neck. "We should probably find a door with a lock if we want to do any more of this," he said as he grinned against the curve of her neck.

The delicious tension in her body immediately faded and she went limp against him with a defeated sigh. "I can't."

"What?" He asked as he straightened up to see her face. "Why not?"

"I have dinner with Noah and his parents tonight and I can't be late," she said as she looked down her the floor, pointedly avoiding seeing his reaction he supposed. "He's made sure to tell me about it at least ten times in the last two days. It's apparently, important."

"God, I hate this," Wyatt seethed as he stepped away from her. "You're not _supposed_ to be married. Not to _him_."

"It's no cakewalk for me either," Lucy said tersely as she turned and angrily slammed her locker door. "At least your job ends when you walk out the front doors of this place."

He winced. He deserved that reminder, but it hurt. It hurt like a knife to the heart.

"Damn it," he cursed. "I'm sorry. Okay? Lucy?"

She still hadn't turned back around to face and it wasn't until he saw her shoulders shake the he realized what was happening. _Fuck._ She was crying. He hated it when she cried.

"Luce," he said quietly as he turned her around to face him. Her hands were covering her face so he couldn't see, but he knew. He watched her cry more times than he cared to admit and at least two times were his fault. And he maybe just added a third tally mark to that count. "Please don't cry," he asked as he closed his eyes tightly and wrapped her up in his embrace. "I'm sorry. I know you didn't ask for any of this. I get it."

"It's not just that," she said in a waterlogged voice. "I-I don't think I can do this. I'm terrified all the time that he's going to see straight through me. He did last time, you know? He knew I wasn't his Lucy he just never wanted to admit it. And I'm awful at all the things wives are supposed to do. Those supportive considerate little things that make a marriage work are just not natural to me. Not with him. What was I thinking, Wyatt? I'm going to blow this. I'm not the secret agent type!"

"Coulda fooled me," he said as he kissed her temple. "Aren't you the woman who faked her way onto a Rittenhouse mission and nearly blew up the Mothership last year? Or the woman who convincingly played bank robber to get information out of Bonnie & Clyde? You double crossed Flynn by leading him to Harry Houdini in Chicago, right? You snuck that passed him and he's ex-NSA. Hell, you had Benedict Arnold thinking I'd served with him in some battle we both know I never touched. You've been a 'secret agent' since the first time we stepped in the Lifeboat. This isn't any different. You've got a brilliant resourceful brain, Professor. Don't be afraid to use it now."

Her hand on his cheek brought his eyes to hers. She wasn't crying anymore but her eyes were still red. She smiled fondly at him before placing a brief grateful kiss to his lips. "Good god, do I ever love you."

He chuckled softly and nodded. "Feeling's mutual."

She took a deep breath and stepped out of his arms, scrubbing her face of the tear stains as she went. "Okay, I should really go. I still need to change and shower. I'm definitely running late now."

He leaned on the locker next to hers as he watched her gather her things and head for the door.

"See you later, babydoll," he called to her retreating back.

She turned to face him with a sad smile and wink. "See you around, Sweetheart."

His chest felt hollow as she walked out the door. Almost as if, his entire heart walked out that door with her.

* * *

 _vii. sweet relief_

* * *

Rufus didn't show up for drinks. She wasn't surprised. She knew Rufus too well to not know what he looked like when he lied. She only hoped that her other suspicious was confirmed. Rufus had picked a dive bar in a neighborhood Lucy didn't know and she had a feeling she knew why. It wasn't the type of place the three of them usually frequented but it was out of the way of anyone at Mason or Noah or her family. No one knew her here. So she hoped beyond hope that this was the set up she had anticipated and any minute now a certain blue eyed soldier would stroll through the double doors.

As if he sensed her wish, he appeared. Looking as handsome as he ever had in a familiar blue flannel button up and jeans. His eyes found hers as if there was only one place for them to go. The smile that spread across his face must have surely matched her own. It had been a long week of hospital benefits and society brunches that she was expected to know how to host and organize. She stumbled through all of it somehow and no one seemed to suspect she wasn't the Lucy they'd always known. In the midst of it all she manage to catch some intel that was exchanged between Noah and another senior member of Rittenhouse.

Basically, her job was to play the dutiful wife and keep her ear to the ground. Maybe squeeze her way further in. But they were a long way from trusting her. Agent Christopher was going to have to give her something she could disclose to Rittenhouse soon or her window would close.

However, that was for another day. Tonight was for _him_. The man who had all of her heart and knew exactly what value it held. He took off his coat and slid into the booth opposite her with a rare teeth baring smile. She loved those smiles. So far he only pointed them at her and vintage cars, and she was okay with that.

"Rufus not here?" He asked before he flagged down the waitress and ordered a whiskey.

"No," she said with a chuckle. "We were set up, Master Sergeant. He bailed."

Wyatt laughed softly. "Of course he did. Sneaky little bastard. He probably saw me punch that damn wall in the bathroom. You know, he called me a miserable asshole yesterday?"

Lucy lifted a brow at him and smirked. "Am I supposed to be surprised by that? You have been a bit ornery lately."

"No idea why that would be, ma'am," he told her with a smirk and a wink. "Maybe cause a certain historian has had to rush in out of work without so much as a hello or a goodbye for the last week."

"Maybe I didn't say hello or goodbye because your hellos and goodbyes tend to take a little longer than that, don't they?"

He shrugged and cracked a couple of peanut shells from the bowl on the table. "I take what I can get, babydoll."

"I'm not complaining, sweetheart. It's just when you apparently have to organize social gatherings at the drop of a sham husband's hat you don't exactly have time for sexcapades in supply closets," she told him with a heated gaze and knowing grin.

"Supply closet's a good idea, we should try that."

"Wyatt," she said with a chuckle and a tiny scolding glance.

The smirk fell and his eyes darkened. "I'm kidding. You and I both know we haven't had a good sexcapade since that shower two weeks ago."

Her shiver and sharp intake of breath clued him into her reaction before she could reign it in. Her body reacted at just the memory of his hands all over her naked body and she ached to have her body against his again. Her body was already flushing with heat just thinking about it. She missed feeling so much at once. She missed being so overwhelmed with love and attraction that the only thing left to do was act on it. It had been two weeks since she'd had the space and the time and opportunity to feel that. _Two weeks_.

Noah barely touched her. Not that she wanted him to. Apparently Noah and his Lucy had been together long enough that sex was reserved for special occasions and, often times, even if Noah did want to try something their schedules didn't match up. He was on call or she was. What used to be the worst part about working at Mason Industries was now the best. The lack of physical connection made it easy to avoid anything beyond a quick casual kiss and a hug.

Anything else was reserved for Wyatt Logan and only Wyatt Logan.

The waitress set his whiskey down on the table and Lucy motioned for a refill rum and coke before she left.

"No wine tonight?" Wyatt asked as he motioned to her glass.

"I'm wine'd out," Lucy admitted. "The dutiful wife of a potential leader of a secret cult apparently hosts lots of events with open bars. The only way to get through it is to drink and wine is really the only acceptable thing for a lady to drink at those sorts of things. Or so my mother tells me."

Her mother was another awful thing about this new life. Lucy thought she was controlling before but that Carol had nothing on this one. Lucy had to be on her best behavior with Carol Preston or else criticism would rain down like hellfire on judgement day. Thankfully, Ben Cahill was in prison or she would have to deal with him too. Apparently, he'd been very involved in this timeline Lucy's childhood. This Lucy grew up knowing her real father and felt actual affection for him. The amount of condolences she received from people about his arrest had shocked her. She honestly didn't give a damn about Ben Cahill but she had to pretend.

Just like everything else in her life these days.

She was so goddamn tired of pretending. Really, she was just tired.

"Hey," Wyatt said in concern as he reached across the table for her hand. He must have picked up on her mood. _Of course_ , he picked up on her mood. He was _Wyatt._ "You okay?"

She sighed, shook her head, and met his eyes. "I don't know, really. I'm just...exhausted. Nothing in my life is real anymore. We're out of the bunker but I still feel like I'm trapped."

He squeezed her hand and then ran his thumb across the back of it. " _I'm real_."

"Trust me, I know," she told him. "You're the _only_ thing that I _know_ is real."

He watched her for a long moment as she sipped her second rum and coke before he downed his whiskey in a gulp. Her eyebrows rose as he pulled out his wallet and tossed down cash. More than the cost of their drinks she was sure. He stood up, grabbed his coat, and then held out his hand for hers.

"Come on," he said as he nodded to the door.

She grabbed her purse and her coat and threaded her fingers through his. He pulled her into his side, released her hand, and then pressed his lips to her ear.

"Let me show how real _we_ are, hm?" He whispered. "Because you and me, we're the real deal, and all this Rittenhouse _shit_ is nothing in the face of that. I know it."

She closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of his warm breath against her ear and the way it tickled at her neck. She memorized his words so she could hide them in her heart and repeat them to herself later. He was right. They made it this far. They could keep going. He led her to his jeep and opened the passenger side door for her.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

"Nowhere in particular," he answered.

'Nowhere in particular' turned out to be a hill overlooking the city with a perfect view of the night sky and the few stars that could be seen despite the light pollution. It was beautiful and secluded. She smirked and then slowly turned to face him.

"Wyatt Logan, did you bring me out here to park?"

"I told you," he said with a devilish grin. "I take what I can get, babydoll."

She laughed at him and shook her head before crawling over the middle console and into the backseat. She situated herself on the far end of the seat and crooked her finger at him, beckoning him to join her.

"Amazing how you can crawl into the backseat with no issues and yet you trip over your own two feet _all_ the time," he said with a teasing smile as he maneuvered himself over the console with much more difficulty.

"Keep going, I'm sure comments like that will absolutely help you get in my pants," She told him with a dry tone and a straight face.

"Hey, 'not hideous' worked out in my favor if I recall correctly," he said with a laugh.

"Because I took pity on you," She fired back. "Plus you followed it with that whole 'you saved my life, you know' thing. That _kinda_ made up for it."

Almost as soon as he was seated she was straddling him, brown hair surrounding him like a curtain, her jeans against his, and her hands on his neck. His hands rested on her hips and then worked their way up and under her t-shirt. She leaned forward to kiss him when he pulled back with a thoughtful and hesitant expression.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"No, nothing-just...when exactly is _hubby_ expecting you home?" He asked. He put an extra dose of venom behind the word 'hubby' and she couldn't blame him.

" _Hubby_ is at work till four in the morning," she answered. "He pulled graveyard shift at the hospital this month. Thank god. So as long as I'm home by three thirty no one will be the wiser."

"That's what I was hoping you'd say," Wyatt said with a smirk as his hands travelled further up her spine.

His light touch sent goosebumps rising all over her body. God, what he did to her. Everytime. As if that wasn't enough, he brought his hands back down and dipped them under the waistband of her jeans. He used his hands on her backside to pull her center tighter against him. She could already feel him stiffening through the denim underneath her. The friction between them was just too damn _good_.

She couldn't help but grind herself against him with a moan.

He chuckled against her skin as his lips trailed fiery kisses down her neck. "Real enough for you, Luce?"

"No," she said with grin. "I think I need a little more convincing."

"Happy to oblige, ma'am," he told her as he tugged the v-neck of her t-shirt down to kiss the top of her breast. "All night long."

 _Oh god, yes_.

A moment later her t-shirt was stripped off and thrown aside and her fingers quickly worked to undo the buttons on his flannel. All the while he kissed her senseless. He tasted like whiskey and honestly it was the most accurate comparison she could ever think of. Strong and warm and powerful yet comforting all at once. Wyatt Logan was whiskey personified and she was more than happy drink him in.

All. Night. Long.

* * *

 _viii. no one gotta know_

* * *

" _Our bar. Now. I need you."_

He had never moved so fast after receiving a text in his life. What did that mean? She needed him? It was late. What had happened? If that dick hurt her there would be no where he could go where Wyatt wouldn't find him. There was no question where 'our bar' was considering they'd only met up at _one_. But the idea of it being their place warmed over the panic for just a moment.

He threw on jeans and a t-shirt, grabbed his keys, and ran. He would never not show up when Lucy needed him.

When he arrived he found her waiting outside the bar, brown bag covered bottle in her hand. She didn't wait for him to get out of his Jeep. Instead she ran right toward him. She yanked open the door and hopped in, putting the half empty bottle of whatever it was down on the console.

"Drive," she ordered. He listened.

Her make up was a mess. Eyeliner and mascara smudged in wide foggy lines, faint dark trails running down her cheeks from tears he assumed. Her eyes were swollen and red. What the hell happened?

"Where do you want to go, Professor?" He asked.

"Home. With you."

His breath caught and he was tempted, so tempted, to turn the car around and take her home with him. Tuck her in his arms and keep her there forever. But if he did that, with Noah expected home in less than three hours, her cover would be blown. He knew she didn't want that. Judging by the half empty bottle she was just too drunk to care right now.

"You don't want me to go with you," Lucy said after he was quiet too long.

"Ma'am," Wyatt said as he inhaled a shaky breath. "There is nothing I would love more than to take you back to my place and wake up with you in the morning. Not a thing I want more in all the world. Right now, you want me to take you away from this but in the morning you'll regret it if I do. Trust me, I _know_ you. You're drunk and you're upset. Now, if you wake up at the Doc's house tomorrow morning and decide you want out - You _really_ want out - then I will come and pick you up from that douchebag's house myself. Screw your assignment, screw Rittenhouse, Screw Homeland Security. You need me, I come. End of story. Is that clear?"

She blew out a breath and brought a hand to her face, pressing it to her forehead and covering her eyes from his view. Finally, he heard a reply. A muffled reply, but a reply.

"Clear."

"Now, how about we park somewhere and you tell me what's got you drinking so much of the hard stuff so late at night, okay?" He asked as he took a hand off the wheel and removed the hand from her face. He held that hand in his and laced their fingers together.

"I shouldn't have texted you," she said with a tiny upset hiccup.

"No, you absolutely should have. I love you, Lucy, and I want to be here for you."

"Not for this, you don't," Lucy told him with a scoff.

"What does that mean?" Wyatt asked fearfully.

"Park, and I'll tell you," she said with tired sigh.

He pulled into the nearest parking lot, it belonged to a vacant office building, and parked the Jeep. He kept it running and angled himself so he could face her. She took a sip straight from her bottle, grimaced, and put it back down.

Wyatt released her hand then placed that hand on the back of her neck and massaged gently. "What's going on, Lucy?"

"He wants a family," she said suddenly, harshly.

Wyatt winced and felt jealous rage coil in his gut. "He hasn't even tried to touch you, you said-"

"Yeah, that's how it was and he still hasn't, but before he went to work today he-he thinks it's time to start trying, he said. For a safe healthy pregnancy it should happen before a woman is 35, he said. And as of this past January-"

"I get it," Wyatt said with a scowl.

"I told you, I shouldn't have texted you."

He shook his head. "No, you should have. We're partners, Lucy, in everything. But I just…"

"Just what?" she prodded.

He banged his fist on the middle console between them. Lucy flinched but didn't jump. "He gets your mornings, I get your midnights. He gets to show you off, I have to hide you. His ring is on your finger, but _my heart_ is your hands. And now…"

Lucy reached over and placed her hand on his fisted one. "I know, Wyatt."

"It's not fair. It's _never_ fair," he admitted.

"I don't know what to do," Lucy said as fresh tears fell from her eyes. "If I say no...won't he know? He'll figure out that I'm not-I'm not his Lucy. But I can't say _yes_. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let him-I won't do that. I can't."

"You're not going to," Wyatt assured her. "We'll figure it out."

"How?" Lucy asked in a small helpless voice.

"I don't know, but _we will_. How long do you think you can stall him?"

"For a little while, I think. I've got a few tricks up my sleeve," Lucy said with a small sad smirk. "I could probably stall him a week, maybe. But...there's one other problem, Wyatt. One that will make all of this a lot harder to avoid."

"What's that?" He asked in disbelief. How could it get worse?

"Mine and Noah's anniversary is in one week. He planned a dinner and booked a hotel room."

It just got worse.

"Well, that sure as hell isn't gonna happen," Wyatt said with a soft growl.

She chuckled at his words and he turned his head to look at her.

"What? You don't think I can stop it?" He asked.

"No, I believe you can," Lucy said with a grin. "You're reckless enough to try it."

"Then what's funny?" He asked as he mirrored her grin.

"Everything," she answered with another chuckle. "I'm discussing how not to have sex with my husband with my boyfriend. When Mason first told us about time travel that night I never thought it would turn my life into _this_."

"Yeah? I know what you mean," Wyatt said as she took her hand and brought the back of it to his lips. "Because the first time I met this one bossy know-it-all historian I never thought she would be the love of my life. But here we are and I wouldn't change it for anything."

"Even now that you're in love with someone who's married to someone else?" She asked worriedly.

"Even now. If you think about it, it might be the Universe gettings its revenge on _me_ ," he told her with a hollow chuckle. "I mean you went through it. I suppose it would only be fair to evenly distribute the pain, right?"

" _Wyatt_ ," Lucy said with a sad shake of her head. "Don't do that. This isn't because you tried to make it work with Jessica."

"Isn't it, though?" He asked. "You don't think, on some level, someone out there thought 'this thoughtless jackass needs a taste of his own medicine'?"

"No, I don't. I don't think that because no one deserves this situation we're in," she said as she squeezed his hand. "Especially not two people who regularly jump in a time machine and risk their lives every day."

"I hate that you're doing this," He admitted. "I hate that you agreed to it."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"But even while I hate it, Lucy, I understand it. I respect the hell out of it. _Out of you_. You're a civilian who was thrown into all this crazy shit and you always handle it with such...determination," he told her as he brought his free hand to her face and caressed her cheek with the backs of his calloused fingers. "This thing with Noah won't be any different than the rest of it. You're a quick thinker in a stressful situation. It makes you a damn good teammate out there in the past and it'll work in your favor here too. I'll work on the anniversary dinner, you focus on the day to day stuff, yeah?"

She grabbed his hand that caressed her face and held it against her cheek for a moment before she turned and kissed his palm. "Yeah."

Neither one of them asked the question that lingered between them.

How long could they meet in secret? How long could they stall Noah? How long could they keep this up?

* * *

 _ix. one more before you go_

* * *

The mission was over. The debriefing finished. She was changed and walking out the door. That couldn't be it. It had been three days since he picked her up outside of that bar. Three days the Mothership didn't jump and he didn't get to see her. Three days wondering how she was handling her assignment. Three days of just wanting to be near her.

"Lucy," he called as he watched her walk toward the front door.

She turned with a curious look and gave him a small smile. She waited for him to catch up. "Do you need something?"

"Now, _that_ is an interesting question," he said with a smirk.

She glanced around the room pointedly at the Mason Industries employees wandering around and then gave him a smile a wan smile.

"It's times like this when I miss the bunker," Wyatt said with sigh. "We could probably get away with a lot of things trapped in that bunker together."

"All that time in that tin can, did any of us ever think we'd miss it?" Lucy asked with a chuckle. "No, we didn't. I guess you really never know what you've got till it's gone."

That hit a little too close to home, especially given who said it.

"That's a lesson I learned the hard way, didn't I?" Wyatt asked her with a half hearted grin.

She bit her bottom lip and glanced between him and the door for a lingering second. She grinned slowly and then nodded back down the hall. "How about a crappy cup of breakroom coffee before I go? I think I have a few minutes."

He didn't ask what those minutes were leading up to or where she had been rushing off to when he stopped her. He wasn't going make her question her decision or change her mind.

He just needed one more minute. Just one more before she went back _to him_.

* * *

 _x. it still ain't easy_

* * *

This was a truly horrible idea. Why did she let Wyatt take this on? She knew she'd been drunk when he told her to let him worry about the anniversary, but even her brain on alcohol had to have known how awful that notion was. He hadn't told her about the plan either. She was as shocked as Noah when they stepped outside their house the night of the anniversary dinner and found a large black SUV waiting on them with Wyatt standing in front of it.

"What is _he_ doing here?" Noah sneered in ear as he locked the front door behind them.

"I-I don't know," Lucy replied with a furrowed brow. Wyatt was wearing a crisp white button up, black trousers, and a matching black jacket. He looked _good_. All business but very handsome. Good God she wished he and Noah could trade places. She wanted to wrap herself around him and never let go. "Wyatt?" She asked hesitantly. "What's going on?"

"Agent Christopher sent me, ma'am," he said as he stood in what she called his 'at ease' stance. Legs slightly parted in a wide stance with his hands behind his back and his head held high. He looked every bit the soldier he was. She really shouldn't be having thoughts about pushing his jacket down his shoulders and unbuckling that leather belt around his waist. Not right now, she scolded herself as she glanced at Noah in her peripherals.

"Why?" Noah asked bitingly. "Being called in doesn't normally merit her an escort."

"She's not being called in. Homeland Security believes there's a viable threat to Professor Preston's life and I've been assigned as her security detail for the night."

"Of course you have," Noah said with a huff.

"Think of it this way," Wyatt said with a smirk, breaking out of his soldier persona for just a moment. "You get a free chauffeur."

"And a chaperone," Noah said as he glared at Wyatt. "But I guess we don't have a choice, do we?"

"You could call Agent Christopher if you like," Wyatt said with a shrug. "But I hear she's not your biggest fan."

Noah leaned toward Lucy's ear and hissed in a low whisper. "I cannot wait till this assignment of yours is over and our side can eliminate him. He's getting in my way."

A cold fearful chill ran down her spine but she quickly shoved it aside. "It's just one night, Noah. He's doing his job."

"Really?" Noah asked her angrily. "You sure about that?"

Great, now she was going to have to convince him. He was onto Wyatt.

"I'm sure," Lucy whispered as she forced a gentle smile. She ran a hand across Noah's cheek and imagined it was Wyatt's. That was the only way to make him believe she loved him. "They know my mother is Rittenhouse. They think my life is in danger. That's all this is. You really have to stop being so jealous of Wyatt." She paused and then considered her words carefully, knowing it would hurt her to utter them even if she didn't mean them. "After all, he won't be an obstacle to anything pretty soon, right?"

It worked and a sickening grin spread across Noah's face. "Very true. This is all just temporary. Victory is imminent." He winked at her and it had the opposite effect of the winks she received from Wyatt. Her stomach rolled. _How imminent_?

Noah had been in more hushed meetings with Rittenhouse members over the last two weeks and Lucy had no doubt they were ramping up for something big. She had been debriefed about her missions by Rittenhouse more thoroughly than ever before. They were looking for something from her. Some key piece of information. She only wished she knew _what_.

"Alright, _Master Sergeant_ ," Noah said in a patronizing tone. "I won't refuse a free ride."

She shared an apologetic look with Wyatt as Noah held open the back passenger side door for her. She never wanted him to see her like this, to see her at work. Why did he think this was a good idea? Watching her with Noah could _only_ hurt him. But his blue eyes held nothing but reassurance. It baffled her.

Noah gave Wyatt the address and then reached out to lace his fingers through Lucy's. He ran a finger over her rings on her left hand and turned a soft smile on her. Noah Carpenter was a lot of things. He could be cold and ruthless and deceptively charming, but there was one thing she knew he was honest about. He loved her. Or that timeline's Lucy, anyway.

He was demanding and sometimes harsh, often jealous. Occasionally possessive. But his touch was always gentle and he never threatened to leave her. He was a complicated man who she wouldn't trust with the tiniest secret, let alone her life, but in rare moments Lucy could see what might have drawn her to him initially. She could see the Noah that told her to take all the time she needed to get her head straight, the Noah who had laughed softly as he recalled the story of how they met, the Noah who teased her about not being able to make dinner. The Noah she had briefly considered giving a serious chance at winning her heart.

This Noah wasn't that Noah, but sometimes she saw him.

Sometimes like tonight while his smile was warm and affectionate.

It didn't mean she cared about him in anyway. It didn't make her feel guilty for using him. But it did make her worry. She was going to break his heart eventually. The side of Noah that scared her would be the side that reacted. What would he do? How far would he go for vengeance? How would she handle it?

"So," Noah said as he cleared his throat and spoke reluctantly. "Your mother called me today."

Lucy sighed. She knew exactly what was coming next. "Yes, and?"

"She says Ben has tried to contact you but you refuse to see him. That can't be true, can it? Lucy, he's your dad."

Lucy noticed Wyatt tense slightly as he drove. She hadn't told him about that. She hadn't told anyone about that.

"Can we talk about this tomorrow?" Lucy asked. "Tonight is our anniversary. Can it just be about us and not my parents?"

Noah nodded and brought the back of her hand to his lips. "Of course, you're right. We'll talk about it later."

"Thank you," she said with a quiet sigh.

This was awkward as hell. The next time she was alone with Wyatt he would be getting an earful from her. This was a risk to her cover. He was distracting her. She couldn't let herself pause every time Wyatt reacted to something, couldn't keep giving him furtive glances, and certainly couldn't keep thinking about stripping that suit off of him and running her hands over his very toned muscles. Those were all things that were going to get them caught.

They finally made it to the restaurant and Wyatt hovered by entrance to the small private dining room Noah had reserved, keeping a watchful eye over her.

"You really have to do something about that guy's crush on you," Noah told her with a roll of his eyes. "I mean it was useful at first, but _now_ …well now it's just annoying. I hope he doesn't think he'll be lurking outside of our hotel room all night."

The hotel room. In the midst of Wyatt showing up she'd forgotten.

"Have you thought about what I said?" Noah asked with a warm smile. "About a family? We would have quite the legacy, you and me. Imagine a little boy with our lineage? He'd have the world on a string."

 _Legacy, lineage…_

Who talked like that? Who talked about _children_ like that? The idea of her hypothetical child growing up to be anything like Noah disgusted her. No, she'd much prefer a little blue eyed wild child with half moon dimples.

Wait, what? Did she just…

That was not a good place for her thoughts to go right now. She was trapped in a marriage to Rittenhouse for the foreseeable future. The most she and Wyatt could have right now were secret trysts in his backseat. Not only that, but she refused to have a child while Rittenhouse still existed. She would not let her children be born into this curse. It was too horrible of a burden to put on an innocent life.

Noah was still waiting on her answer and she knew a loyal member of Rittenhouse would consider it their duty to carry on the legacy and tradition through offspring so she couldn't say no. She wanted to, desperately, but to do so would be a bigger red flag than the soldier who had been following her around all night.

"Of course, that's what I want, Noah," she lied with a wide smile. "But are you sure the timing is right? You've got a lot going on with all those meetings and whatever it is you're planning-"

"I can make time," he told her eagerly as he reached across the table and took both of her hands in his. "I can make all the time we need."

 _Shit_.

Dinner was over and Noah would want to naturally escalate the evening. Lucy tried not to let her hands shake as Noah signed the credit card slip for their meal charge. She couldn't do this. They would know. They'd take her and try to control her again. She'd lose Wyatt and Rufus and Jiya and Flynn. She would be all alone until they were convinced she was broken and then they were send her back to Noah. Would she survive it a second time? She barely survived it the first time.

Just as Noah stood and held out her coat for her, Wyatt approached with a phone in his hand.

He held it out to her with a well schooled urgent expression. "Ma'am, it's for you. Agent Christopher."

She nodded with a furrowed brow and accepted the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's Rufus. We're all three of us full of shit right now so just play along, yeah? Maybe nod and look real somber?" Lucy fought a grin and managed to do as Rufus asked. "Now, let's pretend Christopher called you in to consult on some research and review mission logs and let's pretend she's super pissed at you and won't let you say no."

"I understand, Agent Christopher, but does it have to be tonight? I know I haven't exactly been timely with those reports, but if it can wait at all-"

"It can't," Rufus said from the other end with a slightly higher pitched voice. "I need those reports ASAP, stop wasting my time." and then in his own voice. "Oh, man, that was pretty good, right? That actually kind of sounded like her."

"Okay, no," Lucy said with an exaggerated sigh. "I understand. Yeah, I'm sorry again. I'll be right there." She hung up the phone and handed it back to Wyatt

"You're leaving?" Noah asked with a resentful glare.

"I have to," Lucy told him. "It's my job. You know how that is better than anyone."

His eyes softened instantly and he nodded. "Right, you're right. I do this to you all the time. It's only fair. Go, I'll see you in the morning." He finished helping her with her coat and then, before she could step away, pulled her in for a long intrusive kiss. She told herself to imagine she was kissing Wyatt but, with the man in question standing several inches behind her, that wasn't working. Though, when he pulled away, Noah didn't seem to notice the difference.

"Be careful," Noah told her as he released her.

She nodded and then hurriedly followed Wyatt out the door.

She needed mouthwash, she needed to brush her teeth, she needed to suck on a lemon even. _Anything_ to get the taste of him off of her tongue. What she really needed was a glass of whiskey and a long slow taste of Wyatt Logan. So slow that she would forget Noah even existed.

Wyatt opened the back passenger side door for her and waited for her to be completely seated inside. She risked a glance at his face and found it completely blank. His face never looked blank, not to her. She needed to know he was okay. Yes, she kissed Noah, but Wyatt had to look at it. She knew what that felt like. It was excruciating.

He closed the door and then ran around to the driver's side. They took off toward Mason in total silence. Awkward, heartbreaking silence. He shouldn't have had to do this for her. She shouldn't have let him anywhere near this. What was she thinking? If he hadn't been scared away before then he definitely would be now.

Finally, as the Mason Industries gate came into view, she found her voice.

"Wyatt?" She asked. Just his name. She trusted he would know what she meant. Are you okay? Do you need to talk about it? Can you ever forgive me? _I don't want to hurt you_.

"I'm fine," he answered back in a strained voice. "You?"

"You can't keep doing this," she told him as her eyes fell shut and tears silently slid down her cheeks. "You can't keep waiting around for this to end. It's not fair to you. You never should have seen any of that tonight. I'm hurting you and you've been hurt enough."

"No, Professor, you don't get to make that decision for me. I will decide that for myself," he said firmly as he pulled into the parking deck at Mason. "I'm not waiting for you because I feel like I have to. I'm waiting for you because I choose to. Because I _want to_. Because if I wasn't waiting for you then there still wouldn't be anyone else."

He parked the car in the first spot he came across and joined her in the backseat. He unbuckled her with a soft smile, a task that was meant to remind her of the Lifeboat, and then pulled her into his arms.

"You deserve more than just my midnights," she said as she recited his words back to him. They haunted her more and more every day. The idea that Wyatt could only have her when the moon was up was so heart wrenching that it made her want to cry. "You don't deserve to _just_ be my moon."

"Luce," he whispered against her forehead. He said it reverently and with such care that goosebumps formed across her arms. "If that's what I have to be to be a part of your life then I am more than willing." He pulled back to meet her eyes. The honesty she found there made his eyes seem even bluer, if that was possible. "He can be the sun. I will _gladly_ be the moon."

"For how long though, Wyatt? We don't know how long this marriage will last. You can't keep stalling him with fake security details and pretend late night calls from Agent Christopher. How long are you willing to put yourself through this?" Lucy asked as she buried her face into his neck and breathed him in. What would she ever do without him?

"As long as it takes, ma'am. I will wait as long as it takes."

* * *

 _xi. tomorrow_

* * *

His phone lit up in the dark of his room, catching his attention. He pulled it off the charger and found a text message waiting for him.

" _Are you free?"_

For Lucy? Of course he was free. Besides, it was...midnight on a Thursday. What would he be doing?

" _Do you know what time it is? What plans would I have at midnight?"_

" _I was just being polite. Next time I'll skip a step and assume you're able to drop everything for me."_

" _You should. Because I am."_

" _In that case. Meet me for a drink?"_

" _When? Where?"_

" _Now. Our bar."_

She didn't seem upset this time, at least. Which calmed his worries about Noah. The Anniversary dinner was still fresh on his mind. Just two nights ago, he watched her play her role extraordinarily well for someone with no training in any of this war games shit they were having to play now. Hell, _he_ almost believed she was in a happy perfect marriage for a moment there. Watching Noah kiss her at the end of the night left him feeling as though someone had ripped him in half. Follow that with the fact that her concern afterward was _for him_ and his heart broke for her all over again. She'd given up too much to fight Rittenhouse. He didn't question whether or not she could handle it. He knew she was tough as nails. She proved that over and over again. But whether she was tough enough or not shouldn't matter. She had taken more than her fair share of the blows. She didn't deserve any of them.

He dressed hurriedly, pulling on the first pair of jeans he came across and blindly reaching for a t-shirt in the top drawer of his dresser. He grabbed his jacket off the hook by the door and his keys off the table in the foyer. He made sure to lock the door of the apartment that was much too big for one person as he left, and once again wondered why the other timeline version of himself had purchased, yes _purchased_ , the place. What did he have in mind for it? He didn't know why he wondered. It was likely he would never know.

The drive to this bar was becoming more and more familiar. He parked next to the Mercedes he knew was now Lucy's, and made his way inside. Instead of a booth she was sitting at the bar nursing a rum and coke with a whiskey waiting next to her. He already knew it was his. She turned at the sound of the door and flashed him a sunny smile.

So, no crisis. He let out a sigh of relief. It was nice to just see Lucy happy again. It had been a while. He sat down on the stool next to hers and gave her a crooked smile.

"Does this bar ever close?" He asked her with a chuckle. "It's past midnight on a weeknight."

She didn't tease back and he looked over at her with a curious glance. He expected a quip of some kind, but no quip came. Instead she leaned toward him, her eyes on his lips, and absently licked her own. His eyes had no choice but to look at them.

"So, Noah has a medical conference this weekend," she whispered. "He's in Seattle till Monday morning."

Her brown eyes looked near black as her eyelashes slowly fluttered up and down. His eyes dragged across her face, taking it all in. The need and heat in her gaze, the flush in her cheeks, and the wetness of her lips. All of it for him and she was promising him three husband free days to enjoy it. _Three_.

"Then what the hell are we still doing _here_?" He asked in a light flirtatious tone. "Time's a wastin', babydoll."

"Way ahead of you, sweetheart," She said with a clandestine grin. "You couldn't take me home with you last time we were here but _now_ you can. I even packed a bag."

"That's a little forward of you, don't you think?" He flashed her a lopsided smirk as he teased her.

Of course she packed a bag. She was his anxious historian who still battled with the idea of making it up as they went along. She was a planner and _all about_ control. Well, _most_ of the time she was all about control. He could think of a few _certain_ times she had given some of that control to him. He knew exactly what giving up control meant for her so he was keenly aware of how important those few times were. He'd been an ass about one of those times before. He would never mistreat that trust again.

"You think so?" She asked with a cheeky smile as she took a slow sip of her drink. She lifted a shoulder and turned her stool as if she were going to leave. "Then I guess I'll just take myself and my duffel bag and go."

As quickly as a reflex he reached out and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against him. "I didn't say I _didn't_ _like_ it."

Her cheeky smile turned affectionate as her arms went around his neck. "Take me home, Wyatt. _Now_."

He chuckled and nodded. "Bossy."

"Hot-head."

There were more than a few heated kisses exchanged on the way to their cars. And then again while standing outside of Lucy's Mercedes with her driver's side door open. It took several minutes for them to finally part long enough for her to follow him to his apartment. The elevator doors in his building had barely closed before Lucy was kissing him again. Hard, insistent, urgent. They stumbled and kissed and laughed all the way to his front door.

He had her pressed against his front door as one hand tugged her hair free of it's ponytail while the other tried to unlock the door. Her arms were wrapped around his neck as she continued to kiss him fiercely. She was intoxicating and he never wanted to let her go.

But it was surprisingly difficult to unlock a door while making out against it.

Lucy was giggling against his lips when he finally got the door open and the sound filled him to the brim with fond affection. God, he loved this woman. She tasted like rum and coke, smelled like coconut, and felt like a perfect fit. How in the hell had he even _once_ entertained the thought of living without her? He knew he was a stupid bastard but almost letting her get away wasn't just stupid, it was insane. Clothes were shed as he walked her backwards through the apartment, kissing her nonstop as they went.

His shirt in the foyer.

Her shirt in the living room.

Both pairs of jeans in the hallway.

His boxers and her matching set of lacy underwear in the bedroom.

Until finally they were naked and pressed against each other on his bed.

"So, nice apartment," she said in between kisses. She smirked against his lips and then rolled the both of them so she could lay on top of him. "The little I managed to see of it anyway."

"Oh, you know, it's an apartment. Walls-" searing kiss. "Doors." Tongue traced her bottom lip. "Floors." Her two lips sucked on his bottom lip. "Ceiling." Tongues tangled. "You get it."

"Excellent sales pitch," Lucy said before she trailed kisses along his jaw. "Ever thought about going into real estate?"

He laughed as he pulled her face back up to be even with his. "Smart ass."

"Takes one to know one," She said playfully.

He wrapped his leg around one of hers and tightened his arms around her waist before he suddenly flipped her underneath him. She let out a small squeak of surprise and then laughed loudly before his lips found hers again. One of his hands traveled down her body. From the smooth skin on her long graceful neck, the curve of her breasts, the dip of her belly button, to the smooth slick nerve center between her legs. Each spot elicited a different sound, but his favorite was the groan she released into his mouth as he slipped one finger inside of her. He gently nudged her thighs apart with his other hand and then settled himself more comfortably between them.

He followed one finger with two and she broke the kiss to gasp and writhe against him.

" _Wyatt…"_

The way she said his name was melodic and reverent. _Music to his ears._

He pressed his lips to hear ear as he entered her. Her muscles constricted around him and all he could manage to do was reply in an awestruck whisper, " _Luce…"_

They went two rounds before they both succumbed to exhaustion. Wyatt pulled Lucy to him, her back against his chest, and pressed a kiss to her shoulder. He smiled against her heated skin as he spotted the sunrise just barely peeking through the blinds. There would be no rushing to beat Noah home this time. She could stay right there in his arms, in his bed, in his apartment.

Right where she belonged.

* * *

 _xii. elephant in the room_

* * *

"There are no excuses left," she told him as she sat down next him on the bench in the locker room. Her eyes were full of tears, she knew, but she was at a loss and she doesn't want to hide her emotions from Wyatt anymore. Not since she learned there really wasn't a point. He saw how she felt even when she refused to admit it.

She knew he knew what she meant by the way he stiffened as he laced his boots. His hands tightened around the laces till the joints and knuckles were practically white. Those were the same hands that were so intent on pleasing her just four days prior. The same hands that made her breakfast in the morning, the same hands that lazily tangled in her frizzy waves while she slept tucked securely into his side, the same hands that had mapped and memorized every inch of her. The same hands that _she knew_ better than her own. The calluses that caused her heart palpitations on a regular basis, the fingers that bent at slight odd angles from fights he hadn't told her about, the nails that were chewed around the edges with worry over _her_. Those hands told her that he understood her meaning perfectly.

And he didn't like it.

Honestly, she couldn't blame him. She didn't like it either.

"I've used them all, Wyatt," she said with a shaky exhale.

He sank down on the bench next to her and looked straight ahead at row of lockers in front of them. "Then don't go home."

"I won't. I never go home. That house is not my home. _You are_ ," Lucy assured him. It was true. Noah's house had some of her stuff in it, yes, but it wasn't her home. The only place she ever felt at home was any place with him.

That brought his eyes to hers and she could see the tears forming in them already. Wyatt could never hide overwhelming emotions in his eyes. His voice, yes. His body language, yes. But his eyes were open windows to everything he felt. And right now he was hurting on her behalf.

He grabbed her hands and turned his body toward hers. "I mean it, Lucy. Don't go back to that house." He tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear as continued to plead with her. "Come home with me. _Stay with me._ "

He looked so desperate and so eager. He wanted to protect her and he didn't know how. And now there were tears in her eyes too.

"I've come this far, I have to see it through," she told him as the tears crept into her voice. "Otherwise, all the months of torture would have been in vain. I am this close to being let in on whatever they're planning that's so huge. One more right move and then we can bring their house of cards tumbling down. Then this will be over and we'll all be free."

He pressed his forehead to hears, ignoring the wide open locker room door, and framed her face with his hands. "None of that is worth it if you lose yourself in the process, Lucy. If you finish this and then you come back broken I-I would never forgive myself. You shouldn't have to- _this isn't right_."

"I mean, maybe I'm overreacting," she said with a watery chuckle. "Maybe he'll be too preoccupied tonight. It could be nothing, Wyatt."

" _Lucy..._ just please leave with me tonight," Wyatt asked again. "Let me keep you safe."

"I want to," she told him as she pressed a lingering kiss to his lips. "But I can't. And if you can't handle what might happen afterward I need to know now. You need to decide now. I know you said you would wait as long as it takes but surely you didn't mean-"

"This changes nothing," he said sternly. "I still plan to wait for you. None of this is about me," he kissed one cheek, where her tears had started to fall, and then the other. "This is about you. This is about being able to live with yourself. If you tell me right now, that you can do this, and it won't rip you apart every day for the rest of your life then I will stop worrying and I will stop begging. But if you can't do that... _then don't go back to him_."

"I have to," she said as she took a deep fortifying breath. "I have to finish this."

She meant it too. There was no other choice. She had given up so much time with him. She had hurt Wyatt so much. How could she back out now? It would all have been for nothing and she was so close to the payoff they all needed. The payoff that would bring her back to him for good.

"That wasn't my question," Wyatt said as he focused his intense blue eyes on her uncertain brown ones.

She blinked back new tears and refused to let them fall. She traveled through time, she fought an evil cult, she didn't stop even when there was a price on her head. If she could do all of that then…

"I can do it, Wyatt. I can do it."

He still looked uneasy, but he let go of her face and took her hands instead. "If you change your mind, call me. I'll come for you."

"I know you will," she said as she closed the distance between them and kissed him deeply, exploring his mouth one last time before she would get up and walk out the door. Before things changed. For good.

* * *

 _xiii. it's my turn_

* * *

She was running. She was always running. But this time she wasn't running from something. She was running to it. She found out their plan. She knew what they were up to. She had names, she had faces. She struck goddamn gold.

All because she didn't want to sleep with Noah.

Men could be so stupid sometimes. Manipulation was easy.

Picking a fight had been an act of desperation. She didn't know it would lead where it did. But he was kissing her and she panicked. Wyatt was right. She wasn't the person who could do this. She didn't have the mental training to detach. She wasn't a spy or a soldier. But she knew people and she remembered being briefly engaged to the other timeline's Noah. He hated that she kept secrets from him. She could infer that his hatred also meant he hated _keeping_ secrets _from her_. She took a chance that his secret Rittenhouse meetings had been a previous pain point for this timeline's Lucy and Noah. She was right.

She yelled and screamed about how he didn't trust her. How could they stay married and have a family if he didn't trust her with their legacy? She was as pure blooded as he was. She had a right to know. How dare he shut her out of her family's business. Didn't he know who she was? What family she came from? Did he not see all she did to help their cause on a daily basis? She had sabotaged missions for Rittenhouse (true, but never important ones), spilled secrets for Rittenhouse (ones approved by Christopher to be relatively harmless), betrayed friends for Rittenhouse (Noah insinuated that she was using Wyatt and his feelings for her to her advantage.) How much more would she have to do before he finally started trusting her?

To her surprise, the fight didn't just get her out of sex.

It got her in on the big confidential meeting.

So yes, she was running. Running through the Mason Industries parking garage and heading straight for Denise Christopher's office. Rittenhouse had a plan to burn Mason Industries to the ground and they planned to unleash it _tomorrow_. They had to strike at Rittenhouse first and now, thanks to that meeting, Lucy had all the information they needed. She knew where the Mothership was, she knew who spearheaded all the decisions.

 _She knew how to end this_.

She didn't wait for Denise to wave her in. Didn't look to see who she was talking to. She stormed right through the door and beamed at her.

"How would you like to take out Rittenhouse for good?" Lucy asked.

Denise's eyes widened and a grin spread across her face. "About damn time. What have you got?"

"Wyatt's going to need a team. A tac team."

"Look at you and your military lingo, Professor."

Her heart leapt into her throat in the best way and she turned around at the sound of his voice. She wanted to throw herself at him in a hug. She was so happy. But hugs later, victory now. "I learned from the best. Or at least he thinks he's the best."

Wyatt chuckled and put a hand over his heart as he feigned pain. "Ouch, damn. Where am I and this tac team going?"

"To blow up the Mothership. I know where it is."

"Blow it up?" Denise asked. "No, it's too valuable to-"

"No, she's right," Wyatt said adamantly. "We tried to secure it once before and look how that turned out? I don't even like there being one time machine but two is too much of a security risk. We have to destroy it."

"That won't stop Rittenhouse from exerting control in other ways," Denise said with a shake of her head.

Lucy slammed a piece of paper down on her desk and grinned proudly. "It will if we take down their leadership."

"What's that?" Denise asked as she picked up the paper.

"The list of all the power players in Rittenhouse. I had to write it down myself. They don't like to keep physical rosters, if you remember. If Mason still has that software he used last time, now would be the time to break it out. Blow up the Mothership, take out it's leaders. Wyatt and a tac team can do the first, you and your agents can do the other. And we need to do it _now_ before they come _for us_."

Both Denise and Wyatt stood up a little straighter at that.

"They're coming _here_?" Agent Christopher asked.

"Tomorrow night. Same plan. Destroy the Lifeboat and the team that operates it. You, Rufus, Jiya, Mason, Wyatt...you're all high priority targets," Lucy said in one breath. The unbidden image of Wyatt being assassinated on the Lifeboat platform appears in her mind and it ratchets up her panic another five levels. The clock is ticking and she almost found out too late. "We have to act _now_."

Denise and Wyatt exchange knowing urgent looks that appear to communicate whole sentences and strategies and orders without saying a word. It drives Lucy crazy and forces her to shift her weight nervously.

"Assemble a team, Wyatt, but only those you trust most. I'm sure you know a few decorated war heroes who would be willing to help," Agent Christopher ordered. "I'll get Connor and Jiya working on the list."

Denise grabbed the list off the table and sprinted from her office. Wyatt hot on her heels.

"Lucy, find Rufus and tell him where the Mothership is. I want it tracked and mapped," Denise ordered as the three of them split up in seperate directions.

The next few hours were frenzied and chaotic but, five hours later, Wyatt's team of his available Delta Force buddies were geared up and ready to go. Lucy and Rufus would be monitoring them while Jiya monitored Agent Christopher and her agents as they rounded up the men and women on Lucy's list.

Before Wyatt was set to leave Lucy rushed toward the locker room. She knew that's where he would be. Taking out the Mothership would be by no means easy. It was highly protected. There was no way he was leaving without saying goodbye. Luckily, when she found him he was alone. He was dressed in his tactical gear and only missing the helmet and the gun. He saw her coming from the other end of the hall and was ready for her when she was within arms reach. He grabbed her hand pulled her further down the hallway and into an empty stairwell.

He wasted no time pressing her against the wall and kissing her intently. One hand on the back of her neck and the other squeezing her hip. The kiss deepened, tongues met, teeth nipped. When they pulled apart they were both breathless and flushed. Wyatt rested his forehead against hers.

"You did it. You brilliant double agent. _You did it_ ," Wyatt told her with a wide proud smile.

"And now you have to take it the rest of the way," Lucy told him as she ran a hand across his cheek. "And you need to come back to me, okay?"

"Sure thing, ma'am," Wyatt promised before kissing her softly and slowly.

"I didn't, um-that is Noah and I didn't-it didn't happen, Wyatt. I picked a fight and he spent the night on the couch," she told him with a blush and awkward glance. "I found a way out of it. I couldn't let anyone other than you touch me like that. From now on, there's only you."

"Only you," he repeated as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I like the sound of that."

"Me too," she said as she grabbed the sides of his face and pulled his lips down to hers again for a quick chaste kiss. "Now go, Soldier. They're probably looking for you."

She was terrified for him, but he was a good soldier. She saw it every day. Hell, he'd taken on Rittenhouse by himself once before. This time he had a team. This was cake. But she was still scared. Anything could go wrong.

He dropped a lingering kiss to the crown of her head before he said, "See ya later, babydoll."

She watched him open the stairwell door and head out to work as she replied, "See you around, Sweetheart."

She returned to her spot next to Rufus and they watched through dark, fuzzy monitors as Wyatt's team took out the guards, planted the C-4, and scurried out of the building. There was a loud explosion and then lots of screaming for visual confirmation of destruction. Finally, the smoke cleared and the Mothership lay in charred broken fragments. There were cheers at Mason Industries and cheers from Wyatt's team.

"Job well done, guys," Rufus said over coms. "Now get the hell back here. Drinks are on Connor."

Lucy laughed and slapped Rufus's shoulder. "Did he agree to that?"

"Hey, he's got his fortune in this timeline. He can afford it."

Jiya reported that all of Christopher's arrests were successful. Including the arrest of one Noah Carpenter. Carol and Noah would both join Ben Cahill in prison soon. Her mother, her father, and her soon to be ex-husband were all criminals. She should feel pain of some kind, but she didn't. The last few weeks in this timeline had taught her to accept that her parents made their choices. They chose Rittenhouse and by doing so they chose the consequences that came with it. Their choices, not hers.

When Wyatt arrived back at Mason he made a beeline straight for her. He dropped his gun and his helmet on a nearby table and ferociously pulled her in for a heated kiss. He didn't seem concerned that they were in the very public hanger and honestly with the way he was kissing her she didn't know if she was that concerned with it either. His hands found her face and hers wrapped around his middle. When the kiss was done he nuzzled his nose against hers and gifted her with a smile so bright that it reminded her of the sun.

That was when she realized, they were free. Free of Rittenhouse. Free of Noah. Free of fear.

Wyatt could now be both her sun and her moon. She didn't need to choose or assign him a role. He could be both at once. He could love her in the light of day and the dark of night or any other time he chose. Their life was theirs for the first time since she saw him half asleep in the Mason Industries waiting room.

There was no more darkness. Only light.

That light was named Wyatt Logan, and she planned to bask in him for as long as she could.

It took less time than she thought it would to find a lawyer and draft the papers. How any one got them to Noah while he awaited trial, she didn't know. Nor did she care to find out. All that mattered was that he signed them. The moment she dropped her rings into his lawyer's waiting palm was one of the happiest moments she had experienced in her whole life.

She was divorced within the week and moved into Wyatt's apartment within two.

She would never have to leave him in the middle of the night ever again.

* * *

 _xiv. this is something i can't lose_

* * *

Wyatt leaned against the doorframe and peered into the room where Lucy was currently unpacking boxes upon boxes of books. She moved in a week ago and the office was the last room to unpack. He offered to help but she insisted she had a "system." So he let it go. His historian needed her control. He was happy to let her have it.

"I thought this was an office not a library?" He asked with a lopsided smirk.

She turned to face him with an easy grin. "I'm a historian. My office _is_ a library."

"Touché."

"You know," Lucy said as she placed two books in two separate piles, organizing them in some system he couldn't understand at a glance. "It's amazingly coincidental that other-you picked an apartment with the at home office I used to _dream_ about. A wall of built in bookshelves, a bay window with a window seat, and an antique Victorian desk? Seriously, is it possible to be turned on by a room?"

He laughed and shook his head at her. His beautiful history nerd. _Jesus,_ he loved her.

"I don't think that was a coincidence," Wyatt replied. "I think other-Wyatt's place has a lot of features that seem _very_ Lucy Preston to me. It makes me wonder what other-you and other-me were to each other."

"I've wondered too," she admitted. "Noah said something at that anniversary dinner that got me thinking. Something about other-me using other-you's feelings for information? Given what I read in her mission reports I feel like that was how she soothed Noah's suspicions about other-us."

"So, we were, what, having an affair?" He asked her skeptically.

"Not physically I don't think," Lucy answered. "Christopher mentioned she suspected there was something between us so maybe emotionally, yes? I'm pretty sure other-me was in love with other-you just based on mission reports and debriefs, honestly. I read them all to get ready for taking over her assignment."

"Do you think they talked about a future where they might have a shot? Do you think _this_ was their plan? Living here together?"

He didn't know why they were pondering this. It didn't really matter. Other-them wasn't here. Somehow though, talking about it caused something warm and soft to unfurl in his chest. Like maybe if he and Lucy were meant to collide across multiple timelines it meant their awful timing was finally over. That now they could relax and finally enjoy having each other.

"I don't know," Lucy answered as she stood from where she'd crouched on the floor and moved toward him. "Do _you_ think this was their plan?"

"I think this apartment is too well suited to you to be a purchase for myself and there was no other woman in other-Wyatt's life when we got dropped off in this timeline. So, you do the math, Professor," Wyatt said as he gravitated closer to her as well, taking two long strides into the office.

He could see her eyes watering as the sunlight coming through the bay window reflected off of them, but she was smiling broadly so the tears in her eyes must have been happy ones. He reached forward and pulled her against him, surrounding her in a warm embrace. She returned it by wrapping her arms around him and leaning her head against his shoulder.

"He had hope that her assignment would come to an end and that they could be together," Lucy stated in a soft voice. "That's sweet."

"And when the assignment ended, I don't think he was planning on wasting any time," Wyatt agreed before he pressed his lips to her temple.

"How do you know that?" She asked as she pulled back to look him in the eyes.

Her curious smile reached her warm brown eyes and he was immensely grateful they were passed the days where her smiles seemed force and her eyes hollow. This warm and lively woman with her whole future in her hands was the woman the world deserve to see, always.

"Because I don't plan to waste any time with you either," he promised as he leaned forward and pressed a slow gentle kiss to her lips. Not now that he finally had a chance to be her sun _and_ her moon.

They were always running, he and Lucy. From each other, to each other, sometimes together, sometimes at opposite intervals. But always, _always_ running.

 _Today_ , the running stopped.


End file.
